Black Diamond
by cbob13
Summary: What if Rey had taken Kylo's hand in the throne room? How will Rey and Ben let the past die? [Spoilers] for The Last Jedi. Follows the alternate events of TLJ if Rey had joined Kylo. (Rey's POV)
1. Chapter 1

"You have no place in this story. You're come from nothing. You're nothing… But not to me."

The words rang in my ears. He wasn't wrong. My whole life all I've been was some garbage picker from Jakku, just trying to stay alive. Did he really mean that? Why would he possibly care about me? He's someone who has brought absolute terror to me, his family, the galaxy…

"Please."

Ben held out his hand to me. He had this look in his eyes. He was desperate. I know that look. When I looked into his eyes I saw someone who had known what it was like to be completely and utterly alone. I knew because that's the look that I had in my eyes every day on Jakku; waiting for a family that was never coming back. Could I really do what he was asking? Let go of my past. I don't want to 'rule the galaxy' like he's suggesting. But… I wonder what it would be like to have someone understand.

The whole ship around us is falling to pieces, and he's asking for my hand. It's like everything was going to be okay, and now we're on opposite sides of this war again. This isn't right, I saw his future. He was going to turn and come back to the light, I was sure of it… but maybe his future is yet to come. Maybe his vison of my future has to come true first before his does.

He's standing there with that look in his eyes yearning for an answer. My mind stops thinking and my actions are a blur to me. My whole body is paralyzed except for my arm. I lift it up to reach out to him, but I hesitate. For a split second I think about it once more before my mind is made up.

I'm broken from my paralysis when my arm moves again and _I place my hand on top of his._

His look change from despair to a mixture of shock and relief. For a split second I thought I saw him smile. My hand fits perfectly on top of his. His thumb brushed the back of my hand. His glove feels rough on my skin but strangely comforting at the same time. I felt the briefest moment of relief, and then all hell broke loose.

Everything was peaceful then all of a sudden a blinding light ripped through the ship at the speed of light. The force of the blast knocked me down. The entire throne room was washed with a white light. In the ruckus Ben collapsed onto me. No, he was shielding me. His entire body was covering mine and his hand cradled my head to protect it. The light passed almost as quickly as it came. I took a minute for my eyes to adjust back to normal. Ben climbed off of me and stood up. He held his hand out to me, _again_. I took it and picked myself up.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. What the hell was that?"

He walked over to the window. It's a miracle this room was still intact. Whatever hit the ship was very close to hitting them.

"The resistance cruiser." He scoffed.

"It rammed through the ship at light speed. I can only wonder who had the audacity to come up with a stunt like that."

He started to swiftly make his way to the exit. "The resistance is down on its last legs if we make it to my ship we can end this once and…"

"Ben." I can't believe what he is saying. "What happened to letting the past die? Don't do this. Forget about the resistance and the First Order."

I walk over to him and take both of his hands in mine. "Let's go somewhere where none of that matters, where we can leave it all behind. Don't just turn into snoke and finish his bidding."

"Rey! I am not him and you know it. You agreed to go with me. We don't have time for this, we need to get off this ship now. Everything else can be discussed later, okay?"

That feeling of comfort is gone. What had been the gentleness of Ben Solo is now replaced by the cold stare of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. What have I done? I've betrayed all of my friends by being selfish. I should have known that this would backfire, but I say what is going to keep me in one piece for right now.

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

We made it onto his shuttle before the systems stared shutting down on Snoke's ship. Looking back at the destruction, it was almost spectacular. The resistance cruiser cut a perfect line in the star destroyer. The ship was cut into two pieces, and both were slowly starting to deteriorate. I looked over to Ben in the pilot's seat. He was angry. His knuckles were grasping the controls like they were the only thing on this earth keeping him sane. His discomfort showed all over his face. You think since he killed his abusive master and I decided to join him he would be a little more chipper.

"What Rey? Why are you staring at me?"

I immediately snapped my head away from him. Was I staring at him? I didn't even realize it. I was so lost in thought. I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks; oh no. I've already held his hands several times today, and he shielded me from the explosion. I don't want him getting any _ideas_. I quickly blurt out the lamest excuse.

"Oh sorry. I didn't realize I… I was lost in thought." I quickly change the subject.

"Where are we going? What is your master plan now?"

"Back to The Finalizer. With most of the First Order fleet left we're going to regroup with our forces. After that we can come up with a plan that will bring a swift end to the resis…"

"Ben." I turned to glare at him. After his whole speech on letting the past die, he really doesn't know how to do it does he?

The glare in his eyes melted away again when he looked at me. I didn't know that someone could have a stare with that much intensity.

"We're going back to the finalizer and we can discuss our _plan._ We'll decide what we're going to do."

We didn't talk for the rest of the trip to the star destroyer. It wasn't a long trip, but the First Order fleet was making distance from Snoke's destroyed ship. When we got closer towards the star destroyer, it was honestly _incredible._ I had picked through the crashed one on Jakuu for years, but I've never seen one up close in operation before. Sometimes I find myself wondering how many portions I could get for some things I find. It's an old habit, one that I don't I'm ever going to break. For the longest time it was about survival and nothing more. Now, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do anymore.

When we landed the shuttle there were troopers lined up again waiting for their _Supreme Leader's_ arrival. Ben and I quickly exited his shuttle and made our way through the rows of Stormtroopers. How crazy was it that not even moments ago I was a prisoner to this regime and now they don't even bat an eye when I stand with their leader. I wonder if he hadn't defected if Finn would be standing here with all of these other Stormtroopers.

Finn… What could he possibly think of me now that I've sided with the enemy? Would he even talk to me anymore? I have this sinking feeling that maybe I made the wrong choice. Maybe I should have refused Ben's offer, spat in his face, and declared that I'll never turn to the dark side, but I didn't. I chose for me. I didn't choose what would help the galaxy, I chose what would be suit me. I was selfish, and it felt surprisingly good.

The elevator ride up to wherever we were going was even more uncomfortable than last time. I didn't even think that was possible. Kylo Ren making a situation _more_ uncomfortable couldn't possibly happen. He only brings joy and happiness when he walks into a room. I chuckled to myself at my joke. I couldn't even fight back a smirk from coming across my face. Ben gave me a puzzled look but didn't say anything. Thank god. I didn't feel like explaining my terrible sense of humor to him.

We came to a stop at what I think is the top floor of the destroyer. Or at least close to the top since the elevator ride felt like it took forever. We started to step off and ran right into a man with strikingly bright red hair. His face had a look of disdain and he didn't look too pleased to see us.

"Ren."

"General Hux."

The General let out an exasperated sigh. "I see you survived the attack on Snoke's ship, unfortunately. Where is the Supreme Leader anyways?"

Kylo gave him a smirk. "He's right here."

The red-headed general was not amused. "What, come again? I couldn't hear what you said with all the ego coming out of your ass. Where is Snoke?"

"He's dead. I killed him and left his decapitated body on his sinking ship."

"Well good job on that one Ren. You really screwed it up this time haven't you?" He glanced at me standing behind Ben.

"Oh look you even captured the scavenger wench. Now you can make her your little pet like you've always wanted."

The look in Kylo's eyes changed so quickly it was like you flipped a switch. His eyes went black and anger came off of him in waves. He thrusted his hand out into a clenched fist. Hux went flying into the air. He was gasping for breath. Kylo was crushing his windpipe, in a few more moments he would be dead. I felt myself let out a gasp. What he was doing was terrible, but I did nothing to stop him. Before life left the general's eyes Kylo slammed him into the wall behind him. Hux fell into the ground in an unconscious heap, but it was apparent that he would live.

Kylo's anger had someone subsided but he still had that look in his eyes. He turned towards me, grabbed my wrist and whisked me down the hall. I hated this, it made me feel like a child who couldn't take care of themselves. But I didn't say anything because this didn't really seem like the time to object.

He dragged me by my wrist all the way down the hall until we came to a large door. The door slipped open and he dropped my wrist. The room was large with tall ceilings and had dark lighting. This was his quarters. I've only seen in once over the bond but I didn't get a good view of it. At the time I was distracted by _other things_.

Ben paced around the room trying to get rid of his anger. He came over to me with that look in his eyes again. That intense look that somehow put me at ease.

"Rey I'm sorry. What Hux said wasn't true. I never thought of you as some prize to be won. I just… I'm sorry."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Did he just apologize to me, twice?

"It's okay Ben. But you didn't have to hurt him. It was just some stupid comment. You don't have to be like that"

He took a step close to me. "I know, but no one is ever going to hurt you again Rey. I know you can protect yourself, but as long as you are by my side no one will ever hurt you again."

Again he manages to surprise me. This man had just almost just killed his colleague out in the hall and now he's telling me that he won't let anyone hurt me.

"And you don't have to be alone anymore. Neither of us do."

There is was that small smile again. The one that gave me hope that he could be Ben Solo once again. If I couldn't get Luke back to the resistance, maybe I can get Ben.

He didn't say anything more. He just stood there with that stupid smile on his face. I decided to change the subject.

"So… this is where you live?"

"Yeah kind of. It's more of a temporary living space."

I started to walk around and look at the room's surroundings. "I can tell. There's barely anything in here. Even my old hollowed out walker had more belongings than this place."

"Walker? You mean in an Imperial Walker? Did you live in an AT-AT?"

Wow of course he would know the exact specifications of all the old Imperial equipment.

"Yeah. Home sweet home. I didn't have much on Jakuu to call my own but that place protected me, kept me safe. Even if it was a piece of junk, it was something to call my own."

"Do you miss it? Jakuu."

How do I answer that? Do I miss waiting for a family that would never come? I was so hopeful that they would come back to me. Ben crushed that dream in a matter of minutes, but he was right. He was honest with me. I should be honest with him.

"Do I miss Jakuu? No. I miss waiting for my family. At least back then I had hope that someone cared about me. Now I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore."

His look carried the notion that he had once felt this way too.

"Rey. That's the best part. You don't have to wait on anyone anymore. You can be whoever you want to. Anything you want now you can have. Just name it and it's yours."

Hearing that made me perk up. Anything in the world huh?

"Really? Anything I want?"

…

That is how I ended up eating a 5 course meal with Kylo Ren. I told him that there are so many foods I've always wanted to try. He said he'd take care of it and called ordered the servant droids to bring us food. The table in his quarters was surprisingly large and every inch of it was covered with food from all sorts of planets. There were at least ten different kinds of meat. One of which Ben described as 'Fried Rancor' which apparently was a huge ugly monster that was surprisingly delicious. There was a large array of desserts and several different 'fancy' drinks. Whatever they were beat the disgusting blue milk on Ach-to.

I didn't talk much. I was too busy stuffing my face with all kinds of intricate foods. Ben was disgusted and oddly amused at the same time.

"I've never seen someone eat like it could be their last meal."

I wiped my face with my mouth. "Yeah well you've never lived on Jakuu."

"Fair enough."

The rest of the meal was pleasant, well, as pleasant as it can be when you're eating with your 'former' enemy. After we finished eating I could feel myself getting tired. I think the last time I slept was on the falcon in those tiny bunks. Going to take down an evil overlord, fighting his guards, and then joining your enemy takes a lot out of you.

"I can see you're tired. Get some rest. You can sleep in my room for now until I figure something out."

Ben led me into the room straight ahead from the main room. The door slid open to reveal a large bed that took up most of the room.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Ben stepped out of the room and the door slid shut. Here I am alone with my thoughts once again. My selfish, terrible thoughts. The thoughts that betrayed the resistance and the Jedi. But there's nothing I can do sitting in here that will change anything. I just need to get some rest and figure it out in the morning.

…


End file.
